There a four words for love in Greek:
Storge - Familial, the love a parent has for their child
Philia - Friendship
Eros - Intimate, sexual, romantic
Agape - Charity
This made me think about all of the different personality tests out there that try to figure out the human population. They sell you their perfect formula for successful relationships, and expect everything to be fixed. However, if we go back to the Greeks, we can see a very simple understanding of the different kinds of love that must be present in a healthy spousal relationship. There's no course fee, no personality test, just four types of love that should be present in a relationship.
Agape, the charitable love, is necessary in romantic relationships because both parties need to be serving one another. Without charity, the relationship will be unfair for one, or both of the persons. If both is the case, both will get tired of not having their needs met and become frustrated (at which point Charity would be the most pertinent solution, but it often is not). Eros, the passionate love, is incredibly valuable in a marriage. The sexual relationship that spouses have with each other is something beautiful and healthy. Without sex and other forms of intimacy, the marriage wouldn't be fulfilling. Sex is a natural and God-given gift to his children to become more like Him, and without it we would not be fulfilling our divine purpose. Philia, or the friendship love is important if you're going to live with someone for the rest of eternity. Not only must you love your spouse, you must like them. I know I want to marry my best friend because there wouldn't any other person that I'd like to go through life's trials with than my best friend. Finally, Storge, the familial love happens when a husband and wife are providing for each other's needs much like a parent provides for a child. This includes monetary provisions, emotional stability, and advice. When the need for all of these kinds of love are met, the relationship is able to flourish and become something it couldn't have become on it's own.
Friday, May 27, 2016
Friday, May 20, 2016
Gender Roles
Gayness isn't an identity just like a pornography addict's addiction isn't their identity.
This is a very sensitive topic and I want to be careful about what I say because I understand that there is a lot of confusion and hurt following this topic. I love this video and I think it explains what I'd like to talk about today: Understanding Same-Gender Attraction.
I don't want to go into what makes people more attracted to one gender or another, because I don't think I'm qualified to defend my position in the way I need to on this platform, but I do want to talk about conversion therapy. In the video many men talk about how they identified as gay before, but realized that they weren't truly happy. Many of them wanted a traditional family because they knew it would make them happy, but they didn't know how. They found conversion therapy. It is not my goal to debate about the topic, but just to spark the thought that; if someone has same-gender attraction but doesn't want it, shouldn't there be therapy to help them come to terms with those thoughts?
Many groups are vehemently against this therapy because if it remains available it would support the theory that people aren't born gay, which is the slogan of many LGBT groups (Born this Way). Though there is so evidence that people are born with those tendencies (it is proven that people can be more susceptible to those feelings because of their social upbringing), many groups refuse to look at the data. I would suggest that if someone wants to be follow those same-gender attractions and there are support groups that encourage that, there should be groups for men and women who don't want to follow those attractions.
This is a very sensitive topic and I want to be careful about what I say because I understand that there is a lot of confusion and hurt following this topic. I love this video and I think it explains what I'd like to talk about today: Understanding Same-Gender Attraction.
I don't want to go into what makes people more attracted to one gender or another, because I don't think I'm qualified to defend my position in the way I need to on this platform, but I do want to talk about conversion therapy. In the video many men talk about how they identified as gay before, but realized that they weren't truly happy. Many of them wanted a traditional family because they knew it would make them happy, but they didn't know how. They found conversion therapy. It is not my goal to debate about the topic, but just to spark the thought that; if someone has same-gender attraction but doesn't want it, shouldn't there be therapy to help them come to terms with those thoughts?
Many groups are vehemently against this therapy because if it remains available it would support the theory that people aren't born gay, which is the slogan of many LGBT groups (Born this Way). Though there is so evidence that people are born with those tendencies (it is proven that people can be more susceptible to those feelings because of their social upbringing), many groups refuse to look at the data. I would suggest that if someone wants to be follow those same-gender attractions and there are support groups that encourage that, there should be groups for men and women who don't want to follow those attractions.
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Members Coming to Us.
This topic really touched me in class this week, and I apologize if I don't have a great deal of data to back me up here, because it's not actually facts.
I read "The Costs of Getting Ahead: Mexican Family System Changes After Immigration"
by Martica L. Bacallao and Paul R. Smokowski and I didn't quite understand the significance of the study other than understanding the sad story of a Mexican family trying to find a better life. However, in class Brother Williams did a role-playing exercise to help us better understand what actually happened to this family.
What touched me the most was Brother Williams' testimony. He mentioned that he had a testimony that many immigrants don't know exactly why they should be moving to The United States, but that he believed the Spirit was guiding them there to have better access to the gospel. When he said this, I broke down because of the love I could feel from my Heavenly Father and the love He has for every single child of His. He's prompting these families to endure these almost-impossible hardships in order to bring them the greatest happiness (eternal life).
My takeaway from the lesson is this: I need to be more charitable and considerate toward my fellow men. People are on their eternal path of progression home and I need to be aware of that and do everything I can to bring them there. I think we can all take a moment when we're dealing with this immigration issue, and examine it from a doctrinal standpoint. (1) have we prayed about it? and (2) we can bring the gospel to more people if they're in the United States. These are my thoughts and I think this is a worthwhile idea to ponder.
I read "The Costs of Getting Ahead: Mexican Family System Changes After Immigration"
by Martica L. Bacallao and Paul R. Smokowski and I didn't quite understand the significance of the study other than understanding the sad story of a Mexican family trying to find a better life. However, in class Brother Williams did a role-playing exercise to help us better understand what actually happened to this family.
What touched me the most was Brother Williams' testimony. He mentioned that he had a testimony that many immigrants don't know exactly why they should be moving to The United States, but that he believed the Spirit was guiding them there to have better access to the gospel. When he said this, I broke down because of the love I could feel from my Heavenly Father and the love He has for every single child of His. He's prompting these families to endure these almost-impossible hardships in order to bring them the greatest happiness (eternal life).
My takeaway from the lesson is this: I need to be more charitable and considerate toward my fellow men. People are on their eternal path of progression home and I need to be aware of that and do everything I can to bring them there. I think we can all take a moment when we're dealing with this immigration issue, and examine it from a doctrinal standpoint. (1) have we prayed about it? and (2) we can bring the gospel to more people if they're in the United States. These are my thoughts and I think this is a worthwhile idea to ponder.
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Theories
Theory: an attempt to explain phenomena
Exchange Theory is an interesting concept to me. I think I very often fall into this way of thinking without necessarily meaning to. An over-simplified explanation of this theory is:
the rewards of the relationship - the cost of the the relationship = the value of the relationship
This is fascinating to me. It puts a very creative, emotional relationship and limits it to an analytical definition. It deals almost completely with a type of cost-benefit analysis. Simplifying relationships to "what can I gain from this" completely defeats the purpose of Christlike love in relationships. It becomes selfish, which is the opposite of charity (the pure love of Christ). Though we need to keep ourselves safe and protected in relationships, by determining the worth of the relationship by what we get out of it limits our partner to an object we want something out of instead of treating them like a human being.
This week I want to focus more on how I deal with people around me. As I said, I often think of people in terms of how they can benefit me, as a survival tactic, and I need to focus on forming more healthy relationships instead of cost-benefit relationships.
Exchange Theory is an interesting concept to me. I think I very often fall into this way of thinking without necessarily meaning to. An over-simplified explanation of this theory is:
the rewards of the relationship - the cost of the the relationship = the value of the relationship
This is fascinating to me. It puts a very creative, emotional relationship and limits it to an analytical definition. It deals almost completely with a type of cost-benefit analysis. Simplifying relationships to "what can I gain from this" completely defeats the purpose of Christlike love in relationships. It becomes selfish, which is the opposite of charity (the pure love of Christ). Though we need to keep ourselves safe and protected in relationships, by determining the worth of the relationship by what we get out of it limits our partner to an object we want something out of instead of treating them like a human being.
This week I want to focus more on how I deal with people around me. As I said, I often think of people in terms of how they can benefit me, as a survival tactic, and I need to focus on forming more healthy relationships instead of cost-benefit relationships.
Good For You
"Not everything is good for us"
There's a video produced by the Family Policy Institute of Washington (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfO1veFs6Ho) that explores the transgender bathroom situation in an interesting way. A 5'9" white male asks students at Washington University if they would accept him if he believed that he was a 6'4" Chinese woman. After asking them about the transgender bathroom (and all of them responding positively to the new integration) he brought up his own self-identification. He even went so far as to express that he felt like he was a first grader. Many of the students didn't think it was their "place" to tell his that he was wrong or misguided, many of them merely said, "Good for you."
I would like to reiterate that not everything is good for us. Why is it that, "The only sin now is pointing out sin." I think that speaks volumes to what we are living through today. Of course we should not be rude, critical, or malicious in our judgments of those around us, but when people are making choices that will effect their eternal happiness, it is okay to gently, and with the love of Christ, show them data that proves that might not be the best way to live. That's what I'm attempting to do with this blog, but also with my day-to-day conversations with many of my friends and family.
There's a video produced by the Family Policy Institute of Washington (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfO1veFs6Ho) that explores the transgender bathroom situation in an interesting way. A 5'9" white male asks students at Washington University if they would accept him if he believed that he was a 6'4" Chinese woman. After asking them about the transgender bathroom (and all of them responding positively to the new integration) he brought up his own self-identification. He even went so far as to express that he felt like he was a first grader. Many of the students didn't think it was their "place" to tell his that he was wrong or misguided, many of them merely said, "Good for you."
I would like to reiterate that not everything is good for us. Why is it that, "The only sin now is pointing out sin." I think that speaks volumes to what we are living through today. Of course we should not be rude, critical, or malicious in our judgments of those around us, but when people are making choices that will effect their eternal happiness, it is okay to gently, and with the love of Christ, show them data that proves that might not be the best way to live. That's what I'm attempting to do with this blog, but also with my day-to-day conversations with many of my friends and family.
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